There are some decisions you keep thinking about even though you already know the answer.
You think about leaving.
You think about staying.
You think about sending the message.
You think about not sending it.
You think about changing your work.
You think about giving up on the thing you've been trying to make work.
You think about moving somewhere else.
You think about letting someone go.
And every time the thought comes back, you tell yourself you need more time.
Maybe you do.
But sometimes you don't need more time.
You just don't like the answer.
I've had moments where I kept asking the same question in different ways because I was hoping the answer would eventually change.
It didn't.
I just got better at explaining why I should wait.
That's a strange thing about being an adult.
You can talk yourself into almost anything if you give yourself enough reasons.
“It's not that bad.”
“Maybe things will change.”
“I've already spent so much time on this.”
“What if I regret leaving?”
“Maybe I'm expecting too much.”
“Maybe I'm the problem.”
“Let's give it another month.”
Another month becomes six.
Six becomes two years.
And one day you realize you're not waiting for something to change anymore.
You're waiting for yourself to become comfortable with the fact that it won't.
Support the newsletter --->
Eye Bags and Wrinkles? Fix Them in One Step with Particle Face Cream.
If your face looks tired every morning - eye bags, wrinkles, rough skin - you’re not alone. Particle Face Cream was engineered for men to tackle these issues in one simple step.
This 6-in-1 solution reduces eye bags, diminishes wrinkles, brightens dark spots, hydrates, soothes after shaving, and nourishes deeply with Dead Sea minerals. No complicated routines.
Just apply twice a day and see the difference.
Business brief readers can now get an exclusive 20% discount with the promo code NEWS20, along with a 30-day money-back guarantee.
That's a painful realization.
Because leaving means admitting that you were wrong about something.
Maybe you thought the job would become different.
Maybe you thought the relationship would get easier.
Maybe you thought the business would eventually work if you just tried harder.
Maybe you thought a certain person would finally understand you.
Maybe you thought you would become happy once you reached a certain point.
And sometimes it doesn't happen.
Not because you didn't try hard enough.
It just wasn't the thing you thought it was.
I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to make every decision feel certain.
We want a clean feeling.
We want to know that leaving is definitely right.
We want proof that staying is definitely wrong.
Life rarely gives you that.
Sometimes you leave while still wondering if you could have made it work.
Sometimes you stay even though a part of you knows you should leave.
There is no perfect feeling waiting for you at the end of a difficult decision.
There is just the decision.
And then the life you build after it.
One question has helped me when I get stuck:
“If nothing changes, would I choose this again?”
Not if things get better.
Not if that person changes.
Not if the business suddenly takes off.
Not if I finally become more confident.
Just this.
The exact life.
The exact situation.
The exact version of it that exists today.
Would I choose it again?
Sometimes the answer is yes.
Then stay.
Work on it.
Give it more time.
But sometimes the answer is no.
And when that happens, I think we should be honest about what we're doing.
We're not waiting for more information.
We're waiting for permission.
Permission to leave.
Permission to change our mind.
Permission to disappoint someone.
Permission to admit that something we wanted isn't what we want anymore.
You don't always get that permission from other people.
You have to give it to yourself.
And this doesn't mean you should quit every time something becomes difficult.
Some things are worth staying for.
Some seasons are just hard.
Some problems need patience.
But there is a difference between saying:
“This is difficult, but I still want this.”
and:
“This is difficult, and I keep hoping it will become something I actually want.”
Those are not the same.
The second one can steal years from you.
So maybe today, think about the thing you keep putting off deciding.
The thing you keep discussing with yourself.
The thing that comes back when you're alone.
Don't ask yourself what would happen if everything magically improved.
Ask something simpler.
“If this stayed exactly the same, would I still want it?”
You might not like the answer.
But you may already know it.
And sometimes knowing is the part we've been avoiding.
